To Dan and Eric for 120 Years
So that you may always look back to it no matter where life takes the two of you.
July 6, 2024
For those in the crowd who know me well, you are probably aware that I am the type of person who tries to live as healthy of a lifestyle as I realistically can. Eating nourishing foods, staying active, prioritizing sleep, these are all core components that I make a part of each day. With all of these put together, I have the long-term goal of living to one hundred and fifty. Yes! One, five zero. I truly strive for that number, and I believe this to be attainable for Gen Z. Over the years, I have encouraged Eric, and with that Dan, to similarly follow a health minded approach to life. My brother David, on the other hand, not so much anymore, he’s more or less a lost cause. He eats enough red meat to keep all of the gays jealous.
The more important aspect to all of this, is that we all have plenty of time left. For me, 126 more years to be exact. And for Dan and Eric, a number close to that. That is a long road to travel, committed to a single person for its entirety. This begs the question, what does lasting marital commitment take?
One of the most profound things about gay marriage, is that is hits the nail on the head when looking to how we will continue to re-imagine straight marriage. Gay marriage completely disables the gendered mechanisms by which marriage historically exerted its oppressive power. Gay marriage is inherently and ideally based on love and companionship, and not social and economic power.
I would like to quote author Rebecca Traister and the Massachusetts Supreme Court case Goodrich v. Department of Public Health, the first of its kind to legalize gay marriage.
This court opinion reads: ‘Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being, and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family..Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that expresses our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision of whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-determination.’
<pause>
‘In this legal vision of marriage’s nature and purpose, there is no hint of one power higher than another, no honor nor obeisance. There is mutuality, companionship, and the glorious choice, not only about whom to marry, but whether to marry. In this new connubial world, there is a self, and it is determined.’
Dan and Eric, the two of you have been incredibly capable individuals in your own rights, and the two of you have built a relationship that in no way has curtailed either of your identities, and in no way has quelled how either of you naturally live your life. Rather, the two of you have found the exact answer of what it means to achieve more together than what either could have achieved alone. Your marriage today is less about a new commitment between the two of you, and rather a symbol and celebration of the steadfast and loving commitment that you already have.
It is with this I give my first set of guidance to Dan and Eric as married partners. Firstly, remember and maintain your individual identities even as you now formally commit to another person. And secondly, be ready and willing to grow with each other, reflecting on your own values and needs in the process, as jointly you two continue to build a durable and sustainable partnership. So I propose a toast: to a partnership that will last for the next one hundred and twenty years, until the ripe age of one hundred and fifty.
<raise glass>
With love for its entirety,
Your youngest brother Mark
P.S. Eric’s favorite song :P https://open.spotify.com/track/779mhz1mAry946r91qzR1r?si=42255508eb73430f